Literal lift of heart

My biggest problem for a long time has been lack of messages from God. My friends used to tell me that they're there, it was me who didn't see them. I didn't like this opinion, because when I asked them to point them out for me, they couldn't.
I stayed in this state for a huge period of time, all depressed and miserable, why doesn't God give me any attention like everyone else? Am I that small in God's eyes that He doesn't want to send me even a small message that will brighten my life again?

On time, I was talking about this issue in my favorite Facebook group, as usual, they gave me good replies that would really help me, but I got a lot of such things from my friends, it didn't do a change. I wanted something from God.
Saddened from the fact that nothing is touching my heart anymore and I'm almost becoming a body without a soul, I closed the Facebook tab and went to do something fun, to forget my sorrows. The internet was kinda slow, while I was waiting, I looked beside me to my sister's computer, there, was a picture text written: "God wasn't silent, you stopped hearing Him."
If I had a soul I would've cried, but I swear my heart lifted in my chest. I felt it. My heart started beating fast and I didn't even wait for the internet to load, I shut it and went to cry from happiness. I love Allah.

Ever since that incidence, which was around three days ago, I read, or may I say, 'heard' three different messages from Allah. And believe me, it's the best feeling ever. Even though the messages came on the grave of my favorite activities I do while I know they're wrong, but I finally got a message from God! I was totally ready to get rid of everything bad I do and do jihad on myself to meet with those messages. Allah wants me.
Alhamdulillah



Rahma Fateen