Sunday, February 2, 2014

Literal lift of heart

My biggest problem for a long time has been lack of messages from God. My friends used to tell me that they're there, it was me who didn't see them. I didn't like this opinion, because when I asked them to point them out for me, they couldn't.
I stayed in this state for a huge period of time, all depressed and miserable, why doesn't God give me any attention like everyone else? Am I that small in God's eyes that He doesn't want to send me even a small message that will brighten my life again?

On time, I was talking about this issue in my favorite Facebook group, as usual, they gave me good replies that would really help me, but I got a lot of such things from my friends, it didn't do a change. I wanted something from God.
Saddened from the fact that nothing is touching my heart anymore and I'm almost becoming a body without a soul, I closed the Facebook tab and went to do something fun, to forget my sorrows. The internet was kinda slow, while I was waiting, I looked beside me to my sister's computer, there, was a picture text written: "God wasn't silent, you stopped hearing Him."
If I had a soul I would've cried, but I swear my heart lifted in my chest. I felt it. My heart started beating fast and I didn't even wait for the internet to load, I shut it and went to cry from happiness. I love Allah.

Ever since that incidence, which was around three days ago, I read, or may I say, 'heard' three different messages from Allah. And believe me, it's the best feeling ever. Even though the messages came on the grave of my favorite activities I do while I know they're wrong, but I finally got a message from God! I was totally ready to get rid of everything bad I do and do jihad on myself to meet with those messages. Allah wants me.

Rahma Fateen

1 comment:

ahmed zidan said...

أعتقد أن الشعور بهذه السعادة متقطع من حين لآخر بسبب عدم وجود تلك الرسائل باستمرار في حياتنا لذا ستكون نتائج الجهاد سيئة وغير مرضية جراء السعي وراء تلقي مثل هذه الرسائل مقارنة بالسعي وراء مرضاة مُرسلها ،والّذي سيؤدي بطبيعة الحال إلى غزارتها وسيولتها ولكنها ستكون هنا بمثابة مثبتات على طريق الله وليست بدافعات اليه ... وفقك الله لمرضاته وفي انتظار مقالك الجديد ... السلام