Monday, April 11, 2016

Letter to my baby brother

Dear Dawood,

I'm not sure when this will reach you, but I hope your life is then and always full of happiness and success.
As I write this, you're marking exactly 98 days outside mummy's tummy. You have a very bad fever as the weather the past week has been very unpredictable, reaching extremes in a matter of few hours. You kept mom awake for 3 days straight. Even I, yesterday besides my insomnia, whenever I started to drift you'd wake me up with your wails. I even got out of bed twice to see whats wrong with mama why isn't she carrying you, then walk back to bed as I discover that mom is doing all she could, desperately in need of sleep, and all you do is cry.

You know what, we're both lucky with the greatest mother in the world. She never ever ever complains, she never tells me to do housework. Even sometimes when I'm on my desk in front of books, ages away from my finals, supposedly studying - but daydreaming as usual, and she'd want to go out buy groceries or something, I'd catch her at the door taking you with her and I'm like "Ma! Leave him I'll take care of him" and all she thinks is that I'm studying she shan't disturb me. I have not met a mother in the whole world who does the same.

Also I realized and felt for the first time the hidden unconditional love she holds for us. I used to get really mad because she never expresses her love to me in a physical form (hugs, kisses, words..), but I grew up to realize that that is her personality and I love her the way she is. However to compensate the need for affection from her, I began to reflect upon everything she does, the huge amounts of bestowal she provides us is there all the time everyday, only I choose to appreciate it, and thank God for her presence.
Nevertheless, I hope you grow up to be expressive, Dawood. (haha :p) And that you give me the space to kiss you and hug you the way I do right now almost eating your adorable chubby cheeks.
Random related thought: Why is it when something looks so cute we feel like we want to eat it? That's really awkward when you find yourself craving a pair of shoes or a MiniCooper.

Anyway, I'm 18 years less 3 months older than you, Dawood. Your eldest sister is 20 years older and she's away for college so you don't see her much, and next year I'm catching up with her! I'll miss you so much! Sometimes I feel that I'm not yet fully absorbing the fact that I have a new baby brother, yet my heart refuses but to save a huge part for you, even though you don't talk yet, you don't express any love to me, you don't help me through hardships or anything at all. Which just proves my point about mom, love is there in our hearts even when we lose/don't have the ability to express it.

You came in very weird and unwelcoming conditions, we weren't much excited about your arrival except 2 weeks before your delivery. Therefore we hadn't decided what to name you either. Actually the day mom went to the hospital dad put three choices, and found himself calling you Dawood right when you came to life. It's like Allah is the one who chose your name, hope you carry as much blessings as that honour.
The funny thing though, it's like we only knew about the many ayahs (verses) in Qura'n speaking about Prophet Dawood when we decided to call you Dawood! Prophet Dawood's qualities are extraordinary!

ولقد اتينا داوود وسليمان علما وقالا الحمد لله الذي فضلنا على كثير من عباده المؤمنين

"And We had certainly given to David and Solomon knowledge, and they said, "Praise [is due] to Allah , who has favored us over many of His believing servants."(27:15)

وورث سليمان داوود وقال يا ايها الناس علمنا منطق الطير واوتينا من كل شيء ان هذا لهو الفضل المبين

"And Solomon inherited David. He said, "O people, we have been taught the language of birds, and we have been given from all things. Indeed, this is evident bounty."(27:16)

ولقد اتينا داوود منا فضلا يا جبال اوبي معه والطير والنا له الحديد

"And We certainly gave David from Us bounty. [We said], "O mountains, repeat [Our] praises with him, and the birds [as well]." And We made pliable for him iron,"(34:10)

ففهمناها سليمان وكلا اتينا حكما وعلما وسخرنا مع داوود الجبال يسبحن والطير وكنا فاعلين

"And We gave understanding of the case to Solomon, and to each [of them] We gave judgement and knowledge. And We subjected the mountains to exalt [Us], along with David and [also] the birds. And We were doing [that]."(21:79)

فهزموهم باذن الله وقتل داوود جالوت واتاه الله الملك والحكمة وعلمه مما يشاء ولولا دفع الله الناس بعضهم ببعض لفسدت الارض ولكن الله ذو فضل على العالمين

"So they defeated them by permission of Allah , and David killed Goliath, and Allah gave him the kingship and prophethood and taught him from that which He willed. And if it were not for Allah checking [some] people by means of others, the earth would have been corrupted, but Allah is full of bounty to the worlds." (2:251)

يعملون له ما يشاء من محاريب وتماثيل وجفان كالجواب وقدور راسيات اعملوا ال داوود شكرا وقليل من عبادي الشكور

"They made for him what he willed of elevated chambers, statues, bowls like reservoirs, and stationary kettles. [We said], "Work, O family of David, in gratitude." And few of My servants are grateful." (34:13)

لعن الذين كفروا من بني اسرائيل على لسان داوود وعيسى ابن مريم ذلك بما عصوا وكانوا يعتدون

"Cursed were those who disbelieved among the Children of Israel by the tongue of David and of Jesus, the son of Mary. That was because they disobeyed and [habitually] transgressed."(5:78)

اصبر على ما يقولون واذكر عبدنا داوود ذا الايد انه اواب

"Be patient over what they say and remember Our servant, David, the possessor of strength; indeed, he was one who repeatedly turned back [to Allah ]." (38:17)

يا داوود انا جعلناك خليفة في الارض فاحكم بين الناس بالحق ولا تتبع الهوى فيضلك عن سبيل الله ان الذين يضلون عن سبيل الله لهم عذاب شديد بما نسوا يوم الحساب

"[We said], "O David, indeed We have made you a successor upon the earth, so judge between the people in truth and do not follow [your own] desire, as it will lead you astray from the way of Allah ." Indeed, those who go astray from the way of Allah will have a severe punishment for having forgotten the Day of Account." (38:26)

You had to see grandma fangirling and praying wholeheartidly that you carry the same qualities. I pray that you become like the Prophet (pbuh) and be the one who will get rid of Israel and save Palestine one day 'insha'Allah!

I guarantee you a very exciting life 'insha'Allah. Having many elder siblings each on the edge of life changing points and decisions, besides living in Egypt where there are revolutions every other year, clashes, jail and court visits, you'll never be bored!

I hope I get the chance to be a close friend to you, to teach you all what I've learned through experience so that you become better than all of us. I wish to create a fingerprint in your essence to make you the great person you will become one day, 'insha'Allah.
I love you so much.

Yours truly,
your second oldest sister/sibling,

Rahma Fateen

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