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Thursday, February 21, 2013

To the most dear

I said I loved hugs because I missed yours, hoping that you'll reward me with one. I'm not really sure why I thought that I ought to be rewarded. I don't even deserve it. I never felt this bad in my life. I feel that I've lost you forever. No more of your soft comforting talks that prove me wrong every time but I don't care! No more of your cute innocent pokes that was my idea at first and you copied me, but I love them! Every single time you do something kind to me I reject it because it makes me feel ashamed. Ashamed of treating you this way when you should have been treated like an angel.
I started loving hugs when I saw the truth of them in your eyes. How did I even think that you might be a bad person? Here I am playing the role I thought you were. I'm the bad person now.
You are my scale, when I started getting less attached to you then I'm definately doing something wrong. When I'm by your side, then I'm on the safe side. Unfortunately, I never realised this until I lost you.
We never appreciate things until we lose them and my experience just proved that the same thing goes with people. I left you all this time until I became a hopeless case. I feel it from you actions that you lost hope trying to get me back. And here I am, sobbing, pleading you to forgive me. I don't know what's up with all the rudeness I've been at lately, I was blindfolded, but the crystals of my tears are clearing my view again.
I'm sorry by all the means of it.
I also promise you that this is purely something from my heart. I realized we get each other better in letters than in voices, so I gotta make it that way. I'm writing this here, although I never wrote an indirect post before, but because you aren't like everyone else, and I caused myself and you pain I never caused anyone before.
It's your right whether you want to forgive me or not, though I'm sure you're not like me, you're a forgiver. However, I'll accept whatever you choose, but you must know that I need you more than you have ever imagined or ever will.
Whatever I write on here and no matter how much I write, we both know that I know you more than anyone else. You know me too. So when I say that I need you and miss you just for the sake of it, then I really do!
I'm never forgiving myself.
Wish you the best of everything and the absolute happiness in your lifetime! x

Rahma Fateen

2 comments:

Heba Amr said...

"...but the crystals of my tears are clearing my view again."

U r very talented my dear Rahma <3

Rahma Fateen said...

Awww thank you! <3